Change

As a child I watched my brother and sister and wanted to always be in the position they were in.Being the youngest I was always the one who was too young to do what they did or go where they went.As I got older I realized I would soon have my time.The older I get the more I realize how I should of spent those days as a child being a child instead of wishing to be an adult.Being a teen on the verge of being grown I realize I still deal with child like people.I've spent the last year trying to figure out my life.I've spent the last 24 hours wondering what my future holds.I now know that yesterday may shed light on today and today may shed light on tomorrow.I don't write because I want comments and I don't write because I think I'm good at it.I write because it's what I feel.I write because it takes me to new heights.I write because for the few seconds I have the pen in my hand I exscape my worries, I escape the pain and drama.This might seem a little of topic and a little scattered but if you know me then you know it's how I think.When I was 12 I couldn't wait until I was 13,When I was 15 I couldn't wait to be 16,When I was 16 I wouldn't wait to be 18.All my life I've looked forward to hitting those key ages that every young child wishes to be.Now that I've reached 18 I still feel if people think I'm a 13 years old girl.I've made my mistakes but my achievements out number and eliminate my wrong doings.Without mistakes I wouldn't be the person I am and I wouldn't have the knowledge I hold.As only being human it's easier to point the blame then look in the mirror and see whose really to blame.We all have said people change but honestly deep down inside our souls maybe it's us who have changed.I've changed and I'm not sure if it's a good or bad thing but deep down I'm still the same old me I'm just moving forward in my life.I can't be stuck in the same place doing the same things forever.I have to move forward and if that means removing people from my life then it's something I have to do.At the end of the day you have to look out for yourself.I've never really understood life and there are days that I think I never will.I have learned life has so much more meaning when you actually slow down to enjoy it.Sometimes you have to let go of your worries and just breathe.I guarantee problems will always exist so you don't have to spend every waking moment worrying about them.Since I was a child I dreamed of being a teacher I loved playing school and I loved being the teacher even more.I always thought I was destined to help people or change a life.I want to change the life of teens and let them know they have options.There are so many people that think they don't have options and that's sad because the world is a place of opportunity.I guess I've always had my share of disappointments but that's apart of the real world.You can't always get what you want.I don't care what people say money can't buy happiness because I've been broke and had things taken from right under me but I had the love of my family to keep me going and with that those things seemed irrelevant.Life is all about change.Life is all about living.Life is all about hope.In hard times I learned it's better to laugh instead of crying.I've been working on controlling my anger because anger never resolves anything.Most of all life is to short to hold grudges against the people you love.Sometimes life can whoop your ass but other times it can cheer you on.I guess the most important thing I've learned from my experiences is things don't have to stay the way they are you have the ability to change them!